Forgiveness

It’s something you hear about a lot these days, and it’s probably in the air more since it’s the holiday season.  People and religions often give lip service to the idea of forgiveness, but I find that actual forgiveness is a very hard thing to sincerely do, and then maintain.

Human behavior is generally mercurial and rarely consistent, and this forms the basis for the problem. There will be times when people’s behavior toward us is oppressive, unfair,  and sometimes downright malevolent. These situations can leave marks on us emotionally and physically, since the two are linked:  it would be rare that an emotionally traumatic event did not morph into some type of body ailment or ache, or at least form some time of “mark” in our brain or consciousness. These “marks” can be easily and unintentionally triggered time and again-and these triggers can and often come from other sources and can themselves be quite innocent.

How then to forgive?  It is a process. We first need to forgive ourselves, and then the other person or persons.  It all comes down to letting go, staying present, and showing compassion when we look back at events in our lives that have been extremely unpleasant and created lasting marks. None of these techniques are easy, and each of these concepts requires a great deal of effort to grasp and then maintain. But what are the alternatives?  Look around and listen to people you meet in the course of your day or even a month:  the injuries that human beings inflict on one another become quite apparent, and you don’t need to take a trip to Somalia to uncover human atrocities. When I meet someone and they unload the basis for their personal atrocities on me within the first thirty minutes-often sooner- of meeting, I call that “leading with your injuries.”  By the way, this is not a behavior I embrace.

I recently attended a seminar given by an author who wrote a book on the spirits, and he said something very interesting:  this is a unique and changing time on earth when many unconscious people are interacting with conscious or evolving people. I thought about this and think he is absolutely right, and so evident in not just world events but in my personal life too.  There are many people operating unconsciously on the old paradigms of control, manipulation, and greed; just as many people are rejecting these tools and bringing a new awareness to everyday encounters. What a fantastic stew we are living in- a real challenge for all.