HOW TO BE ALONE
It’s one of those taboo subjects, and is often confused with loneliness. But the idea of aloneness is nothing new, and is completely different from being lonely. There are so many songs and poems that encourage us to be together with other people, and suggest that it is positively un-human and anti-social to find yourself alone, let alone choose to be alone, whether for an hour, a day, or a week.
And with our penchant for connectivity fueled by new technology, it’s possible now to trek to the far off corners of the world, and still not be alone. A question arises whether such an effort is worth it, given that in the old days( more than ten years ago, haha), a trek to a far off land would really mean isolation, immersion in the landscape and/or or a totally foreign culture. It seems fair to say that if you are connected the whole way on such a trip now, you miss a large part of the reason for the journey in the first place, unless of course your reason was to get pictures for facebook or instagram!
So let’s assume that you realize(begrudgingly perhaps)that the need to be alone is just as important as the need to be with other people, if for no other reason to refresh yourself and connect to what you really want without external pressure. How do you do it?
1. Just say no. Don’t be afraid to reject invitations to events. Let’s assume that you already have your fair share of social events in life: you don’t have to go to something just because you are asked; you could stay home and read that great new book, or start that hobby that you have been putting off.
2. Take a hike. Find a beautiful park or nature trail near where you live or work, and go take a walk by yourself! It could be for only thirty minutes, but you will get the feel for what good aloneness is all about, rather than what some people mistakenly think is automatic loneliness, whenever someone engages in a solo activity.
3. Go out to lunch by yourself. Notice how I dare not suggest this for dinner, but of course both are options. I suggest that you try lunch first, only because it’s more common already for most people. But(lunch or dinner), try it in a new place where the experience and people could challenge your comfort zone.
4. Go to a lecture or book reading. In most cities today there are countless events on any given day, and many of them are found online. Choose what you want, and don’t invite anyone along: the whole idea is to savor the solo experience.
5. Have a travel adventure. This last suggestion is for those really ready to (literally) fly: book a weekend or longer trip (depending on time/money constraints) to parts unknown and fly away. To make it even more interesting and potentially valuable to you, don’t tell any of your friends where or when you are going. Just take the leap, and reap the benefits.
You might find that if you truly immerse yourself in any of these “alone” experiences, you will never really feel lonely. Also, as you enjoy these experiences, remember that you are building authentic experiences that you can share with the ones you love.
