The Power of Loss
It’s rare you see anyone talking about loss of any kind in a positive sense. When you think about it, how would we appreciate all the great things and people in our lives if we didn’t know about loss. If everyone in our lives would just stay put, not change, and never go away, would we really like that?
The old saying “you don’t know what you got til it’s gone” has some real merit, because very often we take certain people and situations for granted: we think they will last forever. It’s often true that when we experience the greatest loss, the opportunities for change really unfold. When I was a sophomore in college, my brother suddenly decided to get married in Mexico, so I took a short leave to attend the wedding. When I returned to school, my two roommates (who were my best friends separately) announced they were leaving the apartment we all shared off campus. This left me in quite a bind, because I was staying in school to finish the semester: my social life revolved around them and our common friends. My world was turned upside down in a flash. Walking around depressed and in a daze for several weeks, I happened to pass by the international studies department; this time I went in and inquired about studying abroad, something I never would have done if my cozy social network was still intact. It was late in the semester, and I had a choice of two programs: the University of Grenoble(I speak passable French) or the University of Copenhagen, where the classes were in English. I applied to the University of Copenhagen and was accepted. Once accepted, I had to fill out a questionnaire to be placed with a Danish family. I was fairly mischievous at nineteen (still am today actually), so I fudged my interests a bit: when it came to hobbies I said I loved to play polo, though the one time I was on a horse I fell off! Apparently, this equestrian interest qualified me for placement with a super eccentric Danish family that lived in the ritzy Copenhagen suburb of Hellerup. After picking me and my roommate, another American(Howie)up at the hotel, and showing us their beautiful old house(with sauna and outdoor pool, no horses though!)they sat us in their plush living room covered in Persian rugs and announced ” we all go in the sauna together nude.” It was all very innocent, I assure you, a typical Scandinavian practice, but from the look on Howie’s face, he was about to flee back to New Jersey. Since I was from NYC, I was adept at feigning some sophistication, but let’s just say this: I had never seen my own parents naked together, let alone lounging in a sauna! Welcome to culture shock and one of the best six months of my life. So much for loss.
I would love to hear how loss allowed for interesting things to open up in your lives.
