The Way Things Should Be…

What a delightful series of words, what wonderful images are brought to mind by just thinking about the concept. How many of us have a pre-set image of how our lives are going to evolve, the way “things should be.” It is nobody’s fault that we have these ideas, because most of the time, the people who planted these notions, such as parents or teachers, were well intentioned.

And now let’s take a look at how this wonderful concept of “the way things should be” plays itself out in our actual lives, and how much this concept is similar to, or varies dramatically from, “the way things are.”

Here are some of the things we are taught that fit nicely into the category of “the way things should be:”

• Life should be fair.
• True love should be forever.
• Work should be enjoyable.
• We should always speak the truth (am particularly fond of this one!)
• Friends should never betray each other.
• Our lives should be “set” when we get married and/or have kids.
• People should judge you based upon who you are, not your ethnic background or sexual orientation.
• Our investments should only go up in value.

How many of us have lives in which these “shoulds” are prevalent? For many of us, we still give some credence to these ideas and pay them a minimum of lip service. In fact, many of the things that are taught us bear very little relationship to the reality of our actual experiences.

Therefore, I propose a new revised list of “the way things should be” that I hope you find bears some semblance to reality:

• Life often appears unfair, but ultimately things should balance out.
• Love, true or otherwise, should not have to be forever for it to be cherished.
• Work can be enjoyable or miserable, it should depend on our input and attitude.
• It would be nice if we could always speak the truth, but not everyone recognizes what the truth is, and many people are not prepared to hear it.
• Friends, like other mortals, often betray each other at some point in time, and it’s not a big tragedy.
• Our lives should be appreciated for their fluidity, and there is no real value in freezing any person or situation.
• People will judge you based upon any number of things, but good friendships arise in spite of all that.
• Our investments should fluctuate just like anything with natural cycles.

What is the way things “should be” in your life?